you don’t know what you’re gonna be for halloween yet you obviously have no sense or direction at all
#tbt to when @rachel_evie used to answer my calls and we were best friends and we were looking fierce at the Britney show… #nofilter #living #femmefatale
explore everythingness… become everything. the goal
Being a dancer fucks you in the head. There’s no sense of achievement, no grasp of satisfaction, contentness, no happiness. Only a chance to feel alive—for a fleeting moment. It’s addicting. It’s the substance I crave most. It’s worth a life lived suffering. Self-hate and narcissism and jealousy and obsession and hunger and lust for the euphoria of a thirty second high. I wish my desire was to be a mailman, or something attainable… I first felt anguish in ballet class at the age of five. It hurts, still. Really bad. But I can’t live without the drug, and I wouldn’t know how to, and I wouldn’t want to.